Post on Facebook mom from North Carolina went viral and led to hot debates about the education of children.
Rosie Lamper recently shared a story about one incident in the social network, describing how her children punched a hole in the wall. Rosie told how she responded to the problem with her daughter Sienna (8 years), MIA (9 years old) and Brielle (11 years old):
«I didn’t need to make her feel guilty. I don’t need to shame her. «I’m sorry!!!» I know you’re sorry. «Dad will be mad!!! I’m not ready to tell him.» All right. Tell him when you’re ready. She knew. She knew that it it will affect the most. That he will have to spend part of the day to fix the hole in the wall.»
Rosie continued, explaining that she and her husband knew that they have 2 choices: to Scream and to swear and to make her feel far worse than she feels now. OR Accept how she is a wonderful little girl… even when wrong. To understand that it was very difficult to come out and admit that she made a mistake.
«Our reaction to 100% determines how she is going to come to us with errors in the future. It was so funny when the girls explained to my husband how they accidentally ran into the wall and one of them even offered pocket money to repair the damage. I think it’s very important not to spoil the relationship between the daughter and me. The consequence is a hole in the wall, and she already felt guilty about it. I have nothing to do.»
«It is very important to communicate with children. We talk a lot with them about the errors. No one is perfect. We try to show them how we can be vulnerable. It is important that they see that we are not superheroes as parents.»
The post women shared 249 thousand people and commented on by 27 thousand times. Many applauded the mother for her behavior. «It is so important. We as adults make mistakes. We the people,» wrote someone.
Others shared personal experiences: «to me, it was a lot of emotions. I wonder if I was now a nervous, frightened man, if I was raised like you raise your daughters,» wrote one user.
«Recently, we had the same due to the tantrums of his daughter. I sat with her on the floor. I didn’t scream. I tried to understand it on an emotional level.»
Other parents, however, said that a quiet approach women in their family will not work: «I Have children who do not experience absolutely no remorse. Education is impossible,» complained one mom.
Dr. Stephanie Samar from Mood Disorders Center of the Child Mind Institute explained that the reaction of parent must conform to its priorities. «Our natural reaction is to punish, if we are sad, we are angry or upset. But really, when we think about education, we think about how to teach children something and to achieve bigger goals in the future. Punishment does not help achieve these goals».
